True Tales

True Tale #27 – Above Average Driver

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:02:42 -0500

Most of us that commute to work need a little place to vent on our daily commutes. This is where http://www.AboveAverageDriver.com came in. It is the place to vent on bad drivers, or report on unsafe drivers around the country and it shows. It has existed for over seven years and is the webs largest collection of unsafe drivers, reported by other drivers throughout the US (and some parts of the world).

True Tale #26 – Juan Valdez: Throwing his coffee beans in anger

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 15:57:46 -0600

Starbucks began as a small coffee shop in Seattle in 1971 and has multiplied, like a virus, throughout the world. It is now impossible to walk down a street in Manhattan without passing a Starbucks store as Christine Hanson found out. After a long search for a cup of “non-corporate coffee,” Christine set up www.delocator.net to find an independent coffee seller in the area. Just type in your zip code and a fresh cup, and a friendly environment, are probably closer than you think.

Out shopping, Christine Hanson had time to kill while a friend tried on a couple of outfits. So she decided to grab a quick cup of coffee. But she didn’t want Starbucks.

True Tale #22 - Thank You, Drive Through!

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 16:32:36 -0500

Fast food drive through lanes are meant to save time but usually they are more of a headache than parking and waiting on line inside the restaurant. The only thing worse than waiting on line behind the indecisive person ahead of you and the impatient person in the car behind you is dealing with the oblivious teenager being paid minimum wage to take your order. One LLA reader became very irritated with having to wait so long for fast food and decided she wasn’t going to take it anymore.

This is a tale of a double drive-through annoyance. The first annoyance is that it seems that whenever I go through a fast-food drive-through and order two of the same type of sandwich, I always have to wait. The second annoyance is that I am then asked if I’d like to pull ahead and wait for them to bring my order out. One day at dinner time, my husband and I were in a hurry so we decided to go through a drive-through. We had the bad luck of each of us wanting the same sandwich. The young man at the window looked to be about 15 – 16 at most – and was probably new on the job. He dutifully asked, “If you’d like to pull ahead and wait, we’ll bring that out to you.” I replied, very calmly and courteously, “No, I wouldn’t like to pull ahead and wait. I’m in a hurry and that’s why I came through the drive-through.” A visible wave of panic crossed the young man’s face, and he whirled around and yelled into the kitchen, “She doesn’t want to wait! She wants her food, NOW!” I think I was as surprised at his reaction as he was at mine. I didn’t have to pull ahead, and in a few minutes, a bag containing two chicken sandwiches was in my hand.

True Tales #25 – Feeling Pissed Off, Then Sound Off

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 10:35:24 -0500

As editors of this site, one of the perks is discovering the fun web sites that people employ to cope with or commiserate about life’s little annoyances. Over the past several months, we’ve given shout outs to some of our favorites like Road Rage and cockeyed.com. This past week, a reader introduced us to one that has quickly become an obsession -- soundboard.com. We nearly ruptured something laughing at the sound clips from Napoleon Dynamite. And if you plan to play the Samuel L. Jackson sound bites, turn the volume way down. That man is a maestro with the F word. Our contributor used some help from The Terminator himself to get rid of telemarketers. Here’s his true tale.

True Tales #23 – You Have The Right To Remain Silent…

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:09:38 -0500

An unmonitored cell phone, especially in an office, can lead to anger by coworkers who sit nearby. Patti Beadle couldn’t take the high pitch ringing anymore and created an office prison; not for the offending person, but for their cell phone. While we have no information on how much bail is set for each offense, we are sure that every offending employee pays with a little embarrassment.

One of the only things more tedious than a cutesy ringtone is a person who leaves his cell phone at his desk so that no one is there to answer it when he leaves.

True Tale #22 - An Annoying Contest!

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 15:45:51 -0500

One Life’s Little Annoyances reader alerted me to a service provided by phone companies that I must share with you all. It seems that you can now forward incoming calls from a specific phone number to any other number you want. For anyone seeking to get back at telemarketers, this is a goldmine!

I’m sure your minds are already dreaming up brilliant ideas. Email your best one to twocents@hholt.com. The most creative entry will receive a free copy of the book.

The phone company offers Selective call forwarding. The service is designed to send pre-selected calls elsewhere. The service let you select several numbers like bill collectors and telemarketing firms that actually display a number which is starting to be less and less because they call from trunk lines that do not have a number. However if the number shows up order the feature for you home phone and send these selected calls to another annoying telemarketer of your choice and the calls will be forwarded to them. Do choose a toll free number to forward to otherwise you will be charged for toll calls when forwarding. Your phone should only ring once per forwarded call, but hey it is going to be ringing off the hook anyway. And that way you can judge by the brief ring your revenge is working correctly. The feature is usually available for about five dollars.

True Tale #21 - Do You Want To Hear A DIRTY Joke?

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 15:41:20 -0500

While learning how to drive, most people have the most trouble with parallel parking. Sometimes people focus on this part so much that they don't take any time to practice how to pull into a regular parking space when going shopping. Some people park on the line, some park crooked, and some always park way to close to your car. One reader shared a hilarious story about what she did when another driver parked too close for comfort.

I was at the mall one day, shopping. When I left there was a jack !@# parked beside me. He was partly in his parking spot and partly in mine. He was so close to "kissing" my car, I wasn't even able to get out. Being a weekend and almost closing time, I knew he would be out soon. An idea came to mind. On the back of his dirty car I wrote: "IF ONLY MY WIFE COULD BE THIS DIRTY". On the passenger's side and on the driver's side, I wrote: I AM OLD AND I AM DIRTY. I made sure to put a bubble around it so people would see it. This didn't make the fact that this person was moron any better but it made me feel better. I proceeded to get in my car. Finally someone was approaching the car; a couple. As he got closer to his car, he saw what was written. He looked a bit embarrassed. As he was opening his car door, I just pointed and laughed.

True Tale #20 -Ring My Doorbell A Second Time, Shame On You!

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 15:42:50 -0500

As a child you learn that you should never open the door for strangers, especially ones that carry a bible. In my neighborhood, these people stood out like a sore thumb. The streets became awkwardly quiet as parents closed the curtains and instructed us to sit completely still until the coast was clear. We even had a phone chain to warn neighbors down the block of the "sighting." One reader who accidentally opened the door for some Jehovah's Witnesses quickly improvised a way to beat these unwelcome houseguests at their own game.

True Tale #19: You Are Driving Me Crazy!

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 17:49:40 -0500

Traffic jams are terrible for your car and even worse for your stress level, especially when a fellow driver thinks that they are more privileged than you. Maybe the drive an expensive sports car, or have an important "meeting" to get to, but unfortunately for them, all drivers must obey the same rules. Reader Meredith Bolton became aggravated by drivers who use the shoulder of the highway to merge into the flow of traffic, or bypass it completely. She uses a special technique to make sure these drivers follow the rules of the road.

True Tale #18: The Look on the Salesman's Face: Priceless!

Wed, 31 May 2006 16:25:28 -0500

Shopping in a store where the sales clerks are paid on commission can be very dangerous territory. Like a lion hunting its prey in the wild, they catch the scent as soon as you walk into the door, begin to stalk you through the aisles and finally attack with their sales pitches. They push products on you that you don't need and comment on every product you pass by. David Hord couldn't deal with the unwanted pressure so he came up with the perfect way to deal with the overaggressive salespeople that wouldn't stop harassing him.

True Tale #17: This Time is the Last Time

Wed, 24 May 2006 18:27:02 -0500

Nothing can ruin your day more than being rudely awoken by an alarm clock, especially one that was left on by your careless roommate. While he’s out of town sleeping like a baby, you are forced to leave your warm bed and deal with the forthcoming headache from the high pitched shrieks of the alarm. When asking politely didn’t work, Erik Costlow used some tricks he learned in his electrical engineering class to give his roommate a head start to his day. While the alarm was sure to wake Erik up also, at least he had a warm bed, a few more hours of sleep and a good laugh before he had to be awake.

True Tale #16: Takin' Them To The Cleaners

Tue, 09 May 2006 17:51:21 -0500

Whether it's the laundromat down the street or the laundry facility in the apartment complex, there never seem to be enough washers and dryers to meet peak demand. You would hope that the basic childhood lessons of "sharing" and "waiting your turn" would kick in when every machine is running, but there's always someone who can't wait for the last tumble of the dryer. You know the type - the one who has no compunction about pulling someone else's damp underwear out of the dryer and tossing it in a random basket so they can load their own stuff. Reader Ross McDuff shared his story of aggravation with these laundry room sneaks who try to snake their way through the laundry line along with his own means of quite retaliation.

True Tales #15 – Poor Parking Etiquette Is For The Birds

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 12:29:11 -0500

All drivers must obey the same rules when driving whether you own a fancy sports car or an old junker covered in rust. Unfortunately, some people think that their expensive cars give them higher importance than others and fail to obey signs as simple as "No Parking." One reader found himself in this situation on more than one occasion. He even offered them a chance to correct the situation before he got some sweet revenge.

About a year ago I was walking up to the grocery store and this guy in a BMW parks in the spot reserved for carts. I told him that wasn't a parking space. He gave me a sneer. So I proceeded to gather up every cart I could find in the lot and turn them on their sides, completely surrounding the car. One of the cart boys even helped. We then sat on a bench in front of the store and waited. Soon the guy came out and what he said would have made a sailor blush!

True Tale #14 – Price Check: Cheese & WHINE!

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 11:19:21 -0500

No one would argue that being a grocery store clerk is a glamorous job. On those magazine surveys of the best careers, check out clerk at the supermarket never finishes in the top 10 or the top 100 for that matter. We can all acknowledge that it is thankless, hard work, but that doesn't mean we want to hear the clerk gripe while we wait for our change. One reader's mother became fed up with a career crisis in the express line and decided to bring management and labor together to negotiate a truce. Here is her true tale:

True Tale #13: Which Witch is Watching?

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 10:37:29 -0500

When I was younger there was an old lady who lived down the block who used to yell at us when we walked on her lawn and always gave raisins to us on Halloween, if she even bothered to open the door at all. We were all convinced that she was a witch and after reading Gertrude Strong's true tale I am very jealous that her witch protected her town while mine was just angry. I guess you could say that I live in the West, and Gertrude lives in the North! Here's Gertrude's story...

Some years ago (before 9/11), there suddenly sprouted around our bucolic little village, like mushrooms after rain, green-and-white signs saying "AREA PROTECTED BY NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH in Cooperation with the Soggy Hillocks* Village Police Department."